ENTRY #2: DIRTY MINDS AWOKEN

Almost a year had passed since Bella and I started seeing each other. We become an item. We met each other’s friends, coworkers and finally families. We were inseparable and spent most of our evenings, nights, and weekends together. It was time to take the next natural step, so we have started talking about moving in together. It just made sense. At that point Bella was paying rent for her apartment for no other reason than to mainly store her clothes and collect dust.  So she moved in and our lives continued to intertwine, until finally the thought of making our bond more permanent grew into a reality with a quiet exchange of vows and rings.  And just like that, we became husband and wife.

We felt more comfortable with each other than ever, and fell easily into our steady routine as a married couple. Unfortunately, our sex soon fell into the same steady routine as well. Not that it was a bad thing. Actually, it was kind of nice to have a consistent and stable sex life. We know of many couples who never found a good rhythm after the first few months of their sexual honeymoon. Some of them had up-and-down sex lives and some of them stopped having sex all together. We felt we were by far ahead of the curve and we liked our sex very much. But… we didn’t love it as we once did when we just met. It was hard to maintain that level of sexual intensity when you have run out of things to explore in each other for the first time. We knew that such a slowdown was “normal” but we also wanted to recreate that amazing feeling again, that insatiable craving for hot new ideas and experiences. We were quietly thirsty for it, yet both of us seemed reluctant to say it aloud. So we just kept going at the same pace because it was still great sex and good times.

Until one day.

Bella and I were watching one of those edgy HBO shows that featured some of more “unusual” sexual activities and lifestyles. This particular episode dealt with “swinging” and couples who enjoyed exchanging partners for sex. It’s not like we’d never heard of it before, but this was the first time that we were paying attention to the subject together. What really seemed to pique our interest was the narrative about couples who went to those swinger clubs just to watch others have sex but never participate.

“It’s like watching porn in HD and 3D at once, honey,” I joked.

She smiled. Yet I noticed something subtly different in it. It wasn’t her cheery “ha ha” smile, but more of a mysterious kind. You know, the one that hides thoughts behind the eyes and leaves you guessing as to what’s going on. I recognized it instantly and decided to explore.

“There is no way they have one of these around here in our town,” I casually said, trying to gauge her interest on the topic.

“I don’t think you can look those up in Yellow Pages, honey. You’d probably have to know someone with a secret knock or a pass code,” she replied.

Hmmm. Was this a subtle invitation to explore the topic, something that neither one of us had really thought about before but suddenly wanted to? I started to get a fresh taste of the same feeling I had when we were still learning new things and pushing each other’s boundaries after we’d just met. Did we leave out a huge uncharted territory from our initial exploration? I felt like I’d just climbed a wall that I didn’t know was there, and peeked over it into a whole new world.

I had to proceed with caution. I didn’t know if her intentions were to have fun just thinking about it, or if she was also curious about entering a new world full of fresh sexual possibilities. I didn’t want to push this too far, maybe because I wasn’t sure myself. I mean, that lifestyle seemed to be built on people having sex with other people outside of their relationships. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never fantasized about being with other women, but I have always drawn the line at those being nothing more than fantasies. And I certainly have never thought about Bella being with other men, or women for that matter. This way of thinking was very new to me and I needed time to process all this new information. I left the topic open for the rest of the day while planning on doing some research and finding out more about this lifestyle. I figured I might even go as far as finding out if there was a club of that sort in our area.

Later that evening she passed me by in her boy shorts in the hallway with that playful look on her face that she gets when she is in the mood. Her cute bubbly butt bouncing inside of the thin fabric of her shorts was an instant turn on for me. I grabbed her like a spider seizing newly caught pray that was careless enough to fly into its web, dragging her into our bedroom to make out while my fingers sought the warmth between her thighs and pushed inside of her. She was wetter than normal, which turned me on even more. I pushed her down by her head to give me her great oral routine, groaning as her lips enveloped me. I was a bit surprised to notice that she was putting an extra grind into it as she deep throated my cock, and wondered if it had anything to do with our conversation about the swinger clubs earlier in the day. I wanted to bring it up but hesitated, unsure if mentioning it in the middle of our session would be a good idea, especially since we normally don’t talk that much during sex. It could totally ruin the mood.

I pulled her by her hair away from my cock until it popped from her mouth, a little splash of her spit mixed with precum landed back on her cheek. That was the sign for her to get up, and as soon as she did I threw her on our bed, spread her legs and pierced my cock through her pussy lips until I’d buried it balls deep. She made that amazing sound that every man loves to hear: a sound of surprise and pleasure mingled in the same breath. I started pumping into her and she wrapped her legs and her hands around me as she knew I liked.

Then something interesting happened. She squeezed her legs tight so I couldn’t thrust into her anymore, and she pulled me closer so her mouth could reach my ear. I paused, not knowing what was happening. But before I could think of what to do next, she whispered in my ear.  “Babe, have you looked up one of those clubs that we saw on TV today?”

My heart nearly stopped for a second as reality hit me. We were definitely going into some new, and hopefully exciting, territory here.

“Not yet, should I have?” I replied.

“I thought you would have done it by now. Aren’t you a little curious?” she asked, her breath warm against my skin.

“I am. I wasn’t sure if you were,” I said, and tried to pull back so I that could see her face. She tightened her grip so that I couldn’t. “So, what happens if I find one? Would you really want to go?”

“I think we should at least check it out. It looked sexy on TV,” she said.

“What would we do there, though? What if people start hitting on us? What then?” I asked. I was really turned on by her forward thinking, but I also wanted to make sure that I knew where the boundaries were for this extra-curricular activity.

“I think we should pick a club where we can just watch, you know?” she said, and paused. I kept quiet because I felt like she was thinking about what she would say next. And she did. “Would you be jealous if another man would hit on me there?”

Oddly enough I realized that I hadn’t really thought about it from that angle. I’d witnessed her being hit on once in a while but I’d never thought much of it. Now I was confronted with a thought of another man hitting on my wife in front of me in a place where it was perfectly “normal” and maybe even expected. What if he touched her? What if she liked it? All these thoughts raced through my mind.

I was surprised to discover that the idea of another man showing sexual interest in my wife wasn’t making me angry or upset. Maybe it was because I’d allowed the setting of this new world to dictate the context in my head. I decided to throw the question right back at her to see where she was in her thought process. “I don’t know. Would you want me to be?”

“I don’t even know, babe,” she replied, sounding a little confused. “On one hand, of course I want you to be a little jealous when another man is making moves on me. But then also, I want to know that I can still attract other men. It would make me feel very sexy and confident. Am I making any sense, love?”

Actually, she was making a lot of sense. I could understand that when you’re in a relationship you might start to take the fact that your partner is sexually attracted to you for granted. But you can also lose track of whether or not you are attractive to the rest of the world. I know you’re not “supposed” to care but I think everyone does. You want to be attractive, not just to your partner, but attractive in general. Period. Not getting that affirmation can do a number on your self-confidence and your ability to feel good about yourself.

Her interest in feeling attractive to other men was not just making sense but also making me a little harder. Mind you, I was still inside of her. I think that surprised both of us. I know she felt it because she let up on her tight grip a bit so I that had some room to drive into her again, which I did.

“That does make sense, honey,” I replied but didn’t address the fact that it made me more excited because I was still confused about why it did. “What about you? Would you get jealous if another woman took interest in me there?”

“I don’t know, honey. I think I would feel the same way. I want you to know that you are sexy but I know that hearing it from your wife doesn’t carry the same weight as if it came from an attractive stranger,” she murmured while letting me thrust into her slowly. “I guess if she was part of a couple and they would both be interested in us together I may not be as jealous, but… I don’t know.”

I felt her getting a little wetter and warmer around my cock. This must have excited her too. I started rocking into her faster. It seemed like the conversation had gone as far as it should at this point. I felt like a new life might taking over both of us, and I couldn’t wait to see where it would lead. Turning her over, I pulled her ass towards me and entered her again, feeling her juices overflowing onto my balls. I didn’t know what she was thinking in the light of these new possibilities; I could only guess. That aroused me even more. I felt that fiery connection we’d had during sex for the first few months of our time together rekindling, a feeling of curiosity mixed with lust and excitement, and I loved it.

“I know you want to blow your load in me right now, baby!” She screamed as I was ramping up my thrusts full force. “Do it!”

That put me over the edge as I exploded deep inside of her, collapsing on top of her as soon as I was spent. That was amazing. Did this just happen? What turned her on about all this? What did she think turned me on about this? I had so many questions. We lay there without moving for a while in silence as we both caught our breath and probably wondered what was brewing in each other’s heads. My cock slowly fell out of her as it grew soft and I felt cum pour out of her, drenching the base of it as well as my balls.

After a while we got up and continued with our regular routine as though nothing special had happened until we went to bed. She fell asleep right away. But I couldn’t. I just had to find out if all of this was a real possibility or if it was just going to stay a fantasy between us. I got up quietly, making sure not to wake her, and went into my office. Fear and excitement fought within me as I thought about discovering what was out there and where it might take us. So I opened up my laptop and dove into the unknown.